It’s a real shame when a perfectly-good job is made intolerable by a workplace bully. You don’t even have to be the bully’s intended victim to suffer the negative impact of toxic behavior . When one person sets out to ruin another’s day, the whole team loses. But let’s focus back in on that victim. Around one in five Americans is the victim of bullying. Around one-third of those never speak up about it, and two-thirds end up losing their job or their present role to get away from the bully.
If you’re a victim of bullying, there’s a 40% chance your health will be harmed by the experience. Bullying has been linked to musculoskeletal complaints, fibromyalgia, and cardiovascular symptoms, as well as anxiety, bad sleep, and depression – for the bully as well as the bullied!
But there is help at hand. Researchers have studied bullying in baboon society and connected it to the drive to survive among the over-developed monkeys of the modern workplace. They’ve figured out what that means within a human society today. And they’ve come up with some very effective ways of dealing with the situation.
The most important step is to talk. Acknowledging the problem to somebody else (such as a co-worker or someone in your private life) is a huge pressure release, and helps you shift the sense of shame that often comes with being bullied. Or you could consider talking openly about it at work. Naming the bully or drawing attention to his behavior can tilt the balance of power and puncture his ability to dominate you. On a more technical level, it is essential to start documenting the bully’s behavior as soon as possible. Bullies can be very manipulative. If you need to mount a case against them later, it will help to have a record of their abuse, including anything they’ve written to you and the times, dates, and witnesses of verbal or physical encounters.
If you are the witness to somebody else being bullied, there are different techniques you can use to help the victim, depending on how confident you feel and how safe the situation is. The simplest is to label the bullying there and then. Calling out a bully shifts the dynamic in the office. Rather than the bully’s evolutionary drive, the needs of the group take precedence. The bully is pressured to conform to the collective ideals of empathy, compassion, and equality – and if he continues to bully, he is seen as a threat to the integrity of the group.
We’ve compiled a thorough visual guide on dealing with workplace bullies. Whether you’re the victim, witness, or office manager – or even if you’re concerned that you might be a workplace bully yourself – you’ll find explanations and positive actions to take in our new infographic.
Don’t let an office bully destroy your health, happiness, and career. The power to neutralize your tormentor begins with you, and it all starts with a conversation. You’ve got this.
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